CORNS HORN LIONS, TOTE TRIUMPHANT, LABOUR IN VAIN

God loves pub football. He proved it on Sunday by destroying Mike Larkan's farcical prediction of a cloudy afternoon immediately. The sun blazed down on Gillon Park Oval to welcome the real community cup: Renegade Pub Football league. A cup we can all drink from- a big red sherrin cup of dreams and heavy bench rotation. The story of the afternoon was The Unicorns chalking up their first win in style. Attacking down the wing and bulldozing their way from the arc to the goalmouth, they ran over courageous first gamers The Birmingham Lions in an epic struggle. It was a show of the heart and pride that has won the Old Bar team so many fans. Famous for their banners, the Corns have now done an all time first in the history of the game: The HALF TIME RUN THROUGH (Xavier TwoDicks was late because it took him so long to make). The Lions had some serious dash, played in a great spirit and showed a little of that ol' skinhead temper in the last quarter. Welcome aboard Birmi, you are Neo Nazis no more.

Final Score:

UNICORNS 6.8.44

LIONS 2.6.18

Tom McGuigan's new look Eye Gouge were particularly composed before the game. A quiet club- renowned for speed, a silky midfield and massive ruckman. Ex-Captain Max Kohane stalked the sidelines in a fever- when he wasn't eating his hand, he went off like Dogman on ACA ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XNlgwUNKjs ) . Meanwhile Sabo snuck in the rooms for a quiet rev-up and took a quiet viewing spot in front of the Tote bench, kinda like a quiet coach that yells. The East are the best starters in the RPFL and the worst finishers. They slammed an early goal only to be held goalless until the games dying minutes, ruing the missed opportunities. Tote captain Banjo's run off the half back set up several attacks and the gold class forwards made sure it was a comfortable win.

Final score:

TOTE 6.5.41

EAST 2.4.16

Veteran backman Serious Joe Kokomo ices up: Pub Footy style.

The Labour did it tough in its first game- club CEO Rob Anderson tore a calf in the first quarter and Captain Cam "Lucky" Smith hurt himself putting his shorts on. This reportedly cut the bench to 2 players-making it virtually impossible to win when the fitness levels are fair shades of shithouse. Tough to judge The Pain in light of their stuttered start, and Bats Captain Snoop Mitchell declares his club is not getting ahead of themselves. The Bats set their sights for the glittery fantasy: an in-form Unicorn.

Final Score:
BATS 9.7.61

PAIN 0.1.1

Overall- the perfect day to welcome in the season-Thanks to Snoop and Banjo, the 2 new clubs, Joel Old Bar, the umps, Trevor, goal umps Andy Fants, Sabo and the dude in the ECSR t shirt- the groundstaff as well as The North Old Boys for letting us in. There were no ambulances, no fights and no dickheads. Let's keep it that way.

ALSO: Thanks to The editors of Footy Record- what a great surprise! You can contribute to the game day zine at donzakong@gmail.com

Round Two

1- Bats vs Corns

2- Eye Gouge vs Lions (BLOCKBUSTER BROTHER V BROTHER GRUDGE MATCH)

3- Tote vs Pain